Piratey Birthday

'Appy Birthday ol' Daniel me nephew.
Oi hope all yer wishes may come true.
When ye come back to Oz
get a parrot because
Ye'll look daft if ye carry a cuckoo.

'Appy Birthday ol' man o' the seas.
When ye come 'ere ye'd best not bring fleas.
And don't let yer rat
out from under yer hat
or they'll hang ye fer spreadin' disease.

'Appy Birthday, ye scurvy sea dog.
Shall we go fer a sail in the fog?
Just clam up yer mouth
as ye sail to the south
or ye'll turn all our fresh air to smog.

'Appy Birthday ol' Daniel me lad.
Oim glad ye've gone stark ravin' mad,
'cause if you'd been sane
with a rational brain
it'd make me black pirate 'eart sad.

When writin' these ditties for Daniel
me mind couldn't shake the word "spaniel".
Oi tried an' oi tried
'til me brain was french-fried,
so this last line really doesn't quite rhyme or scan well.