Love Limericks of the Evil Overlord

From the warped wordsmith who brought you depressed light verse, nightmare love poetry, humorous tragedy, jaded mother's day glurge, a lustful villanelle and various other works of dubious merit comes...

[cue sinister pipe-organ chord]

Love Limericks of the Evil Overlord

My satellite laser invention
(so cool it defies comprehension)
carved the moon with your name
and it gave me no shame
'cause I did it to grab your attention.

Don't try to deny it, my dear--
you're drawn to my saturnine sneer.
Though you're brusque and remote
I can't help but note
that you tremble whenever I'm near.

It's important that you understand,
all men beside me will seem bland.
Those bohemian effete
boys can never compete
'gainst a man with the world in his hand.

My minions thought I was bizarre
after I'd gone a fraction too far
with my devastation
of a middle-east nation.
I should've just bought a big car.

There's no one can come before you
and nothing that I wouldn't do.
I'd raze the Greek Isles
for just one of your smiles
(and Malta and Sicily too).

The moments you gave me today
are pleasures I'd love to replay.
Your beauty divine,
so sweet and so mine,
I cannot allow to decay.

So call me a romantic crank
'cause the ethylene glycol you drank
was a toast to forever--
to pledge that I'll never
pull the plug on your cryogen-tank.

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