Yeah, there are a few words that I should remove to give it more of a period feel.
"McFries" stands out. I toyed with "french fries" instead but it drags the pace and refuses to roll off the tongue.
"snog" dates back to somewhere in the mid-20th century. It doesn't feel natural for a big band era piece.
"scared the crap out" also sounds too recent.
For me, the raven's "fark" joke dates back to some time in the 60's or early 70's when Graham Kennedy got away with dropping the f-word on prime time Australian tv. I left it in there as a bit of a shout out to a great comedian, but it does stand out a bit.
This is too lovely for me to profane with an anti-packbawky rejoinder--and believe you me, I tried. So I shall content myself with a nitpick: the fark-muttering raven is a bit of a clanger. It doesn't go with the slightly archaic tone set by the diction and the meter. I would suggest another rhyme, maybe:
...and as we kissed, I'm sure I heard the trilling of a lark,
or
...and as we kissed, a pecker punched the maidenhead of bark!
Okay, not that second one. That was a joke. Just not "fark". I do not like your fark.
Faugh--sounds miserable! I just had a cold, myself. There's always a cold going around. Ah, well. I'm sure you did the right thing anyway. WifeOfVirge probably appreciated her liberty. And, since you were nice to her while she had it, she is now honour-bound to be nice to you in return. If you play your cards right, you could probably get her to do your shopping and bring you breakfast in bed. (Or at least favour you with solicitous queries after your health.)
I know lots of people who wish they could do something like one of those speed-novel events, but feel like they'd never make it. (Myself included--I keep saying I'll do it when I don't have so much work to do, but I ALWAYS have lots of work to do!)
I bet if a bunch of us did it informally, on some kind of deadline, and kept each other's spirits up with progress reports and stuff, it could be done. (I've been saying THAT for years, as well.)
No. I looked at it and didn't think I had a hope. I've still got a lot of bad habits I need to break. I think my worst is constant editing as I write. It slows me down.
Did you ever do that National Novel-Writing month lark? I wanted to do it last year (excellent way to pass a dull November), but had way too much work at the time. It would be a good way to get a first draft of something knocked out, though. If you type fast, anyhow.
Thanks Rats. I know writing is fun. Where I see the biggest need for discipline is not in finding time to write, but time to write and finish something of significance. I write a lot of tiny pieces. I get distracted. I start on something that I love, then I flit to other things that provide more immediate returns.
I need to force myself to finish something longer in order to get a positive feedback loop going. At the moment I'm not convinced that I can write anything that would keep anyone engrossed for more than a few pages. That's what causes the motivational barrier. Once I get past that barrier I suspect the late night time slot will work for me and external interruptions will be less distracting.
I enjoy a sprint. Now I want to push through the pain barrier and get those endorphins to kick in. And when they do... :D
See, there you go. That spider bit was great. It was great because it wasn't what you expect from a finding-a-giant-spider-under-your-fingers story. It didn't have the usual yuck factor, and offered a funny, bizarre perspective. It was also great because it was a nice little bite out of your life, which said as much about the way you think as about what happened.
The writing thing...here's some unsolicited and probably really dumb advice: It shouldn't require discipline. I think a lot of people see writing, art, and other creative jobs as being like mountains to climb, Herculean sorts of things, where you've got to work your arse off and turn out masterpieces. Writing every day is fun. I do it...but I look at it more as a break from work, a fun thing I can do to get my mind off serious stuff. That way, there's no procrastination involved. In fact, writing is what I do when I'm procrastinating. It's how I procrastinate. Come to think of it, I'm procrastinating right now. Shame on me. I'm supposed to be making Stella's dinner, and here I am yammering on about writing, which, let's face it, is hardly my area of expertise.
Anyhow, though, what I'm trying to say here is that maybe all you need to do is adjust your approach a bit. Instead of thinking about getting your butt in your seat and churning out written matter whether you want to or not...think about why you want to write to begin with. I mean, you know it's fun. The more you look forward to it, the more you'll get done.
This was clearly a dream about packbawkies. It was a cautionary sort of dream: if you eat too many birds, you will eventually turn into one. You are what you eat. Resolve this issue by eliminating chicken from your diet today.
You think you are bad
But in more than one instance
I've joined such a group.
Yeah, that's right. I'm a hoser whose curiosity usually gets the better of me. I invade people's private communities and spy on what they're saying about me. Once, on an Italian art forum, I thanked the posters for the nice things they were saying about me, and they accused me of impersonating myself. It was most surreal.
Sorry, I didn't make that clear. The other riddle was: "Why was there a regularly used link from a message in a private forum to one of my pages?"
It evoked enough curiosity that I was almost tempted to try to join the community just to see the message link. Was it a vitriol-filled Virgilanti hate-thread? Was it a published link to one of my top secret folders? Was it someone stealing bandwidth by direct linking one of my precious images? Was it a ring of rhymophiles getting their perverted jollies from my verse? My site statistics showed the referring site, but not the address of the file to which it linked.
It's just as well I'm not paranoid. I'd be a jibbering wreck. (Not exactly. Paranoia would be sufficient motivation to drive me to create an anonymous account and apply to join that private forum.)
Yeah, there are a few words that I should remove to give it more of a period feel.
"McFries" stands out. I toyed with "french fries" instead but it drags the pace and refuses to roll off the tongue.
"snog" dates back to somewhere in the mid-20th century. It doesn't feel natural for a big band era piece.
"scared the crap out" also sounds too recent.
For me, the raven's "fark" joke dates back to some time in the 60's or early 70's when Graham Kennedy got away with dropping the f-word on prime time Australian tv. I left it in there as a bit of a shout out to a great comedian, but it does stand out a bit.
This is too lovely for me to profane with an anti-packbawky rejoinder--and believe you me, I tried. So I shall content myself with a nitpick: the fark-muttering raven is a bit of a clanger. It doesn't go with the slightly archaic tone set by the diction and the meter. I would suggest another rhyme, maybe:
...and as we kissed, I'm sure I heard the trilling of a lark,
or
...and as we kissed, a pecker punched the maidenhead of bark!
Okay, not that second one. That was a joke. Just not "fark". I do not like your fark.
I am also a grammar god--but since you are also a god, you knew that already. Here we are, two dorks, both alike in geekery.
Faugh--sounds miserable! I just had a cold, myself. There's always a cold going around. Ah, well. I'm sure you did the right thing anyway. WifeOfVirge probably appreciated her liberty. And, since you were nice to her while she had it, she is now honour-bound to be nice to you in return. If you play your cards right, you could probably get her to do your shopping and bring you breakfast in bed. (Or at least favour you with solicitous queries after your health.)
Thanks. I threw it together to celebrate my 2001st post on EK.
I can't believe I MISSED this! Oh, my GAWD! What a packbawkyawful abomination! What a hoot! That is BRILLIANT!
That's one of your best ones yet. I was moved by it.
Ha, ha! I love the way you've managed to satirize the satire (and the satirist to boot). Masterfully done.
I know lots of people who wish they could do something like one of those speed-novel events, but feel like they'd never make it. (Myself included--I keep saying I'll do it when I don't have so much work to do, but I ALWAYS have lots of work to do!)
I bet if a bunch of us did it informally, on some kind of deadline, and kept each other's spirits up with progress reports and stuff, it could be done. (I've been saying THAT for years, as well.)
No. I looked at it and didn't think I had a hope. I've still got a lot of bad habits I need to break. I think my worst is constant editing as I write. It slows me down.
Did you ever do that National Novel-Writing month lark? I wanted to do it last year (excellent way to pass a dull November), but had way too much work at the time. It would be a good way to get a first draft of something knocked out, though. If you type fast, anyhow.
Thanks Rats. I know writing is fun. Where I see the biggest need for discipline is not in finding time to write, but time to write and finish something of significance. I write a lot of tiny pieces. I get distracted. I start on something that I love, then I flit to other things that provide more immediate returns.
I need to force myself to finish something longer in order to get a positive feedback loop going. At the moment I'm not convinced that I can write anything that would keep anyone engrossed for more than a few pages. That's what causes the motivational barrier. Once I get past that barrier I suspect the late night time slot will work for me and external interruptions will be less distracting.
I enjoy a sprint. Now I want to push through the pain barrier and get those endorphins to kick in. And when they do... :D
See, there you go. That spider bit was great. It was great because it wasn't what you expect from a finding-a-giant-spider-under-your-fingers story. It didn't have the usual yuck factor, and offered a funny, bizarre perspective. It was also great because it was a nice little bite out of your life, which said as much about the way you think as about what happened.
The writing thing...here's some unsolicited and probably really dumb advice: It shouldn't require discipline. I think a lot of people see writing, art, and other creative jobs as being like mountains to climb, Herculean sorts of things, where you've got to work your arse off and turn out masterpieces. Writing every day is fun. I do it...but I look at it more as a break from work, a fun thing I can do to get my mind off serious stuff. That way, there's no procrastination involved. In fact, writing is what I do when I'm procrastinating. It's how I procrastinate. Come to think of it, I'm procrastinating right now. Shame on me. I'm supposed to be making Stella's dinner, and here I am yammering on about writing, which, let's face it, is hardly my area of expertise.
Anyhow, though, what I'm trying to say here is that maybe all you need to do is adjust your approach a bit. Instead of thinking about getting your butt in your seat and churning out written matter whether you want to or not...think about why you want to write to begin with. I mean, you know it's fun. The more you look forward to it, the more you'll get done.
Also...YOU TOUCHED A SPIDER! EW! FAUGH! GROSS!
Eeeek!
The packbawky hides from der vogelharanguer.
Woo! Woo! I gotta do this too, but I don't have time for the whole thing. So, yeah, I pick Mozart, and I answer one question thus:
Describe yourself: Der Vogelfanger bin ich, ja!
* takes time to stop trembling
I'm starting to understand my zemmiphobia.
I can offer some remote nagging--I mean, encouragement--if you want.
GET TO WORK, LAZY VIRGE! STOP SITTING ON YER TAIL!
...that is, good luck.
This was clearly a dream about packbawkies. It was a cautionary sort of dream: if you eat too many birds, you will eventually turn into one. You are what you eat. Resolve this issue by eliminating chicken from your diet today.
You think you are bad
But in more than one instance
I've joined such a group.
Yeah, that's right. I'm a hoser whose curiosity usually gets the better of me. I invade people's private communities and spy on what they're saying about me. Once, on an Italian art forum, I thanked the posters for the nice things they were saying about me, and they accused me of impersonating myself. It was most surreal.
Sorry, I didn't make that clear. The other riddle was: "Why was there a regularly used link from a message in a private forum to one of my pages?"
It evoked enough curiosity that I was almost tempted to try to join the community just to see the message link. Was it a vitriol-filled Virgilanti hate-thread? Was it a published link to one of my top secret folders? Was it someone stealing bandwidth by direct linking one of my precious images? Was it a ring of rhymophiles getting their perverted jollies from my verse? My site statistics showed the referring site, but not the address of the file to which it linked.
It's just as well I'm not paranoid. I'd be a jibbering wreck. (Not exactly. Paranoia would be sufficient motivation to drive me to create an anonymous account and apply to join that private forum.)
Unless I am missing something, that's only the answer to ONE riddle--that of who was using your game? What was the other one?
Embuoyed nowsome, gratitudinally.
Imsqueakle gazeboid voodoobawky squaggle?
Hot jumpin' Jesus on a POGO stick, Virge! Get that stuff away from me!
Rats, if I gave you one of these biscuits I'd be accused of trying to ply you with strong drink. Here, have a sip of this Jesus Juice instead ( http://news.ninemsn.com.au/Entertainment/story_16120.asp ).
Sica :D