Why can't I have entertaining dreams?

In a dream last night I was given the job of cleaning the overgrown moss and weeds off a sloping house roof. I started to climb up onto the roof using a window sill for footing, then realised I could damage my clothes (I was wearing a long coat - not the best for climbing in). I stepped back down and climbed up using the ladder that was just round the corner. As I was cleaning and scraping, I slid slowly down the roof slope to the ground - since now the roof extended all the way to the ground. When did that happen? Why didn't I just walk up the slope rather than climb a ladder? I kept working. Dream ends.

Maybe I do have very entertaining dreams but just don't remember them. Maybe I only wake up happy because of my unremembered fits of dream laughter. I must find out. I can't bear the thought that my brain might be enjoying itself behind my back... erm... while I'm asleep.
I need to install Dream-Recorder(R). It's available for free download - compatible with 90% of human wetware. (May fail to run in certain lobotomized configurations. Does not record drug induced hallucinations.) Installation only requires a high quality sound card and headphones, but getting the timing right is difficult. You must run the installer during a REM phase. If you haven't got someone who is prepared to sit by your bed and monitor your sleep phases, the easiest install method is to tape your headphones onto your ears and put the install software in auto-repeat mode for the whole night. You can tell if it managed to install correctly by the heads-up display - the fluorescent status panel in the dark area to the left of your left eye's vision. Don't worry if the display panel seems distracting. You'll soon learn to ignore it. Of course the panel position is configurable. A lot of users prefer to place it between their eyes and slightly above the visual field - the so-called "third eye" position.
There's only one thing that stops me downloading it. No, it's not the fear of screwing up my brain, it's the fine print at the bottom of the web page.
"Customers please note: While Dream-Recorder(R) is a free, fully-functional, brain-enhancement program, its companion product - Dream-Player(R) - is still in the final stages of development and will be released on a pay-per-view basis. We are committed to keeping our price per dream down to a level competitive with most live entertainment venues."


An old versifier, through vanity,
prefered not to publish profanity.
Expletives he'd mention
would temper his tension
and interfere with his insanity.

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I need a tube of blog-filler. Something to fill an unsightly gap in a blog and smooth it over. It doesn't even have to be an exact colour match. There's enough variety (pronounced In`con*sist"en*cy) in the blog that a little blog-filler wouldn't be noticed.

The one-word page had "beg" as the word of the day. What a thoroughly depressing word. Anything I write about using it sounds bleak and hopeless. But I'm not in a hopeless mood. I'm just in my usual cruise-along, unfazed mode. If I try to write about a word like "beg" it has to sound insincere.

The funniest thing that happened through the day was listening to a cheesy lounge cover of NIN's "Closer" song. The dog noises as word censors were hilarious.


Which is better? To blob in front of a tv for the evening and accept professionally produced stories of unreal people, or to blob in front of a PC and be involved in the filtered stories of real people?
Real people's stories usually cannot provide the sensational variety of the mass media. Mass media material is a selection of dramatic highlights of many people - condensed, clarified, shaped into the mental mould of the producer, then distributed to millions of hungry viewers.
Real people's stories have long periods of ordinariness, punctuated by times of anxiety and excitement. With real people one can afford the luxury of interacting on a one-to-one or one-to-few basis. With this interaction, one can compensate for the long banal periods by exercising creativity. Interactive stories take more effort and may be less spectacular, but they also carry higher risks and rewards. A tv will not say "I've got a heap of work to get done so I can't talk much today." But on the other side of the coin, a tv won't compliment you on things you've done or suggest ways to improve.
I choose to spend very little time watching tv. I would rather interact, whether it be a game, a public bulletin board, or just conversation. I want to be involved in making the story.

More on limericks

getting incredibly lazy
grammar driving me crazy
can't give a stuff
few words enough
meaning might seem a bit hazy

More of my lessons in the art of limerickery. I did say I'd "give tips on the use of one's lips", didn't I?

The juxtaposition of consonants
leads teeth, tongue and lips in a dainty dance
and an opus of vowels
thrills me through to my bowels
and causes a stir in my underpants.

The Kiss of the Limerick

A limerick's alliteration
applied with some lip lubrication
and a light, rolling lick
or a rough, flirting flick
will likely result in elation.

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Last night we went out to see Matrix Reloaded. Forty million dollars worth of freeway chase scene can't be wrong, can it? Well the film certainly has impact. It is brilliant entertainment. The constant switching between real-time and slow motion during the action scenes is very effective in reinforcing the blinding speed. Viewing all the fights in real-time would be overloading - causing a mental tune-out.
From a story point of view, I think they have turned Neo into a superman without leaving any kryptonite around. His only vulnerabilities are now the people he is close to. To me, this represents a simplification - a step down in target age group. Within the matrix I ceased to worry about Neo's personal safety. I hope the third movie doesn't continue the "arms race" mentality between Neo and anti-Neo.
It was refreshing to see a reasonable amount of time dedicated to the free-will/determinism problem. It was disappointing to see the anachronistic insertion of mythological creatures in the matrix. I could see the internal logic for doing so, but it still seemed to shift the paradigm. Instead of high-tech autonomous agents, purpose designed to eliminate the non-conformances, we have magical mutant creatures with some unexplained alliegence to a hedonistic, information power-monger. There was probably some deeper symbolism to this enemy, but in an action movie there is little time to be dedicated to it's exposition.


My 666th post came up on EK. I had to do something a little special to post in EK's dining room:

Basements decked out with sadistic devices,
Diminutive minions and sweet sacrifices,
Free, fallen angels with featherless wings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Pushers and pimps and puffed-up politicians,
Frustrated clergy in power positions,
Gluttonous binges, promiscuous flings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Scurrilous rumours and poisonous sniping,
Spamming and flame wars and incessant griping,
Six six six postings of smart-alec stings
These are a few of my favourite things.

When the job pays,
When the friend rings,
When the posts are glad,
I simply imagine their asses in slings
And then I don't feel so bad.

How to write limericks

I'm finding some satisfaction at my work. System design problems to solve - number crunching, algorithms, a smattering of statistics and signal processing. Now I remember why I'm employed.
The patent committee have started prodding me on some work I did a year or so ago. I lost interest, figuring it would never get resourced. I procrastinated on detailed diagrams and figures. Now it looks like I have to extract the digit.

Too Proud to Beg

Aspirations clamber to the edge,
rest momentarily,
their momentum almost enough to break from the well.

They watch successes parading and want to beg for help.
Their mouths open, but nothing comes out. How can they beg?
Words are there, but will not be voiced.
It's easier to listen to the comforting noise of success and quietly hum along.

The potential well is deep.
Thoughts spiral under the gravity of doubt.
They know they could communicate, but know too well the transience of their predecessors.
In the darkness of the well they can fail unnoticed.

Private Inspirations

Inspirations and aspirations bubble away unnoticed by the world.
It's hard to work in the same room. The aroma teases.
Stir the pot. Raid the pantry for those special ingredients.
Still smells good.
Simmer, stirring occasionally.
An early taste?
Another recipe that will be left to boil dry

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