Warped Quotes

Submitted by Virge on Mon, Oct 20, 2003 - 05:39
in

His next evil plot involves a burlap sack full of squirrels and 700 kazoos.
- Rachel Blubaugh (on the topic: Signs Osama bin Laden Is Nuttier Than a Fruitcake)

If you're singing Christmas songs on your neighbor's lawn at night with your church group, it's called "caroling." But if you're doing it alone with no pants on, it's called "drunk and disorderly."
- McClain

I would think that when God needs a break from the pressure of running the universe, He takes a couple of Almightiagra tablets to temporarily relieve His omnipotence.
- Unknown

And so Phillip learned two lessons that day: piranhas don't like donuts, and even if they did, you'd be better off putting them on a stick of some sort so you can still father children afterward.
- Donald J. Hunter