V-Day is coming

I couldn't resist writing some Valentine's Day limericks to express the gentle loving spirit of the occasion. Rather than stick to the time-honored "I love you" message, I've tried to highlight some of the other guises adopted by love.

As your slave on this Valentine's Day,
I'll serve wine and expensive paté.
For the rest of the year
Bring me icy-cold beer
And a big juicy T-bone, okay?

I know you hate Valentine's Day
Since your last love was "taken away".
While he decomposes
He's pushing up roses,
So I've brought you a lovely bouquet.

What to wear on this Valentine's Day?
Would a cardigan be too risqué?
Maybe horn-rims (ideal
For their raw sex-appeal),
And my combover? No, my toupee.