Random limericks

A couple more from that non-OEDILF forum thread where each poster sets the topic for the next poster's limerick.

Topic: Plagiarism

I consider it cheap dirty plagiarism
When you copy my strange verbi-agerism.
It's my signature style
As neologismophile
And I don't need your tawdry upstagerism.

Topic: Toe jam

An innocent halfwit named Sam,
Who believed what he read in his spam,
To enhance his bed skillz
Wrote away for some pills
That were made of ear wax and toe jam.

Topic: Extra-large plants

The landscaper eyed her askance,
Asking, "How shall I fill your expanse?"
She said, "What? Beg your pardon?
Oh, my private garden.
You'll have to use extra-large plants."

Topic: Very small owls

In the trees I heard hoots and wild howls
From a parliament of very small owls.
Their spell drew me under
The trees rapt in wonder
Then gaily, they emptied their bowels.

Topic: Pagans

A young techno-pagan named John
Found enlightenment when he logged-on.
At night he was able
To commune with his cable
And worship the Goddess of Pr0n.