Power
"And some have greatness thrust upon them."
I've been appointed to a position of power. I've been promoted to the status of moderator at Ebony Keep. Now I get to sample the subtle intoxicating aroma of sycophancy, the financial security of extortion and the dizzying rush of wielding god-like super powers. Of course I'm still a noisy packbawky, nobody has any money for bribes, and my puissance extends all the way to locking message threads that have unraveled in flames, but it's a sign of trust.
How should I view an increase in my sphere of influence? I could model myself as Sir Virgil the knight-errant, seeking opportunity to do deeds of valour. Have you a just cause that needs championing? Is there injustice, oppression, corruption? Show me evil that I might smite it. That's a pose I don't think I could hold for long. The selfless altruistic hero only exists in the minds of those who write stories. Pretense of the role in real life is sufficient to guarantee failure.
I'd be pretty good at playing Virgilanti the truly errant knight if it didn't mean having to hurt people. I can be callous when I see people suffering as a result of their own stupidity. I can distance myself from a human population that allows itself to be led by deceived and deluded alpha-males (while at the same time knowing I'm dependent on the band for my quality of life). I just can't distance myself enough to wish them ill. A Blackadder I am not.
Virge the court jester will have to do. I present no threat, no insult that can't be laughed off, entertainment that occasionally helps put life into perspective, and a source of welcome, trustworthy deceit. This is a role I can keep on playing, with or without power.