The Mother's Day Card

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Will I buy a card? It's always a pain selecting a card for my mother. There are two extremes - "pretty" cards that are so sweet that I shudder when I look at them, and "funny" cards that usually insult either the giver or receiver.
I'll make my own card. I'll thumb my nose at the mass-produced plastic wishes industry. I'll express my own warped humour. Well, I'll try.
First let's find the worst possible Helen Steiner-Rice Mother's Day glurge on the web.

So Mothers are a 'special race'
God sent to earth to take His place,
And MOTHER is a lovely name
That even SAINTS are proud to claim.

from Mother Is A Word Called Love by Helen Steiner-Rice

It just oozes, doesn't it?
With this as inspiration, I started writing. Here's what happened.

A mum's day card is always nice
with words by Helen Steiner-Rice
and pictures of a perfect rose -
but you're not wanting one of those
'cause Steiner-Rice is sickly sweet.
It's straight and boring, incomplete
without a touch of wicked glee.
Lets face it mum, that's just not me.

So let's dispense with those simplistic
greeting cards with unrealistic
words of highest, purest love.
For when, you see, push comes to shove
I celebrate this Mother's Day
by writing silly rhymes to say:
"Of all the many things you've done
the best, I guess, is raise a son."

Package it up on a web-page (small enough to be viewed on dad's 640*480 screen). Add flower photos for the first page, and a good friend's photomanipulation of me as the devil at the end. Voila!