Father's Day Limericks

I looked at the cards on display for Father's Day and found myself frustrated. There were stiff-upper-lip formal cards with compasses and yachts and mature blokey images. There were ever-faithful dog cards and from-your-silly-little-kid cards. There were rows and rows of how-many-times-can-we-frame-the-same-joke card.

I gave up. I had Saturday evening to spare, so I was sure I'd come up with something if I forced myself to create a card with a personal message. Here it is.

When that noise they play can't be a song
'Cause it sounds like it's sung by King Kong,
When the shows that they watch
Seem to dwell on the crotch --
Makes you wonder just when things went wrong.

When you've led them to where they belong
Yet your child (whom you thought would stay strong)
In apostasy, strays
Into prodigal ways --
Makes you think, "Did I do something wrong?"

When your grandchildren join the goth throng,
Or play role-playing games all day long
And you see them begin
To stick studs through their skin --
Makes you wonder, "Where did I go wrong?"

When your family grows healthy and bright,
When they're stable, mature and polite,
When they earn peer respect
Then it's fair to expect...

...Someone else gets the praise for that, right?

Happy Father's Day