Changing the topic

This journal is all about me, me, me - and I know you would prefer it if was about you. Ok, let's talk about you for a while. I'm feeling a bit drained so you'll have to help me here. Yes I know you've been trying to help but I just don't seem to follow the thread of your conversation. What do you mean you don't like it when I try to second guess your responses? No, it's exactly what you said - or what you were about to say. That's not true!. I've never tried to put words in your mouth. Well, thank you very much! Who's journal is this anyway?

I think I'll change the topic.

Here's a fun site: Insultmonger
It has quotes like:

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
- Paul Beatty

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
- George Bernard Shaw

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.
- Jean Rostand

Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what they say if they had.
- Linus Torvalds

There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
- Dave Barry

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer, made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious.
- W. Somerset Maugham