Aussie Gods

Back in May last year I spoke of the Australian gods Bruces (god of culture-free entertainment), and Steves (god of mindless outdoor activities). They're not very old gods when you measure their lives in biblical time scales, and some would describe them as immature. They've left me alone of late, so I'm going to take a chance and talk a bit more about Aussie gods.

A god you've probably not heard of yet is Rex (pronounced "wrecks"). Rex is the god of segregation of the sexes. You sometimes see his handiwork at parties where all the guys end up at one end of the house, drinking freely and hammering on about blokey stuff. All the girls find themselves clustered elsewhere, talking about whatever girls talk about when they get together. The subject matter discussed is officially beyond my ken.

Now that you've recognised him, a little verse may serve to show more of his supernatural influence.

In sit-com writer's spiteful style the gods
could not permit pure happiness to last,
so when two perfect lovers' lots were cast
the gods conspired to bugger with the odds.
"They're never gonna notice if we cheat--
just 'ave 'im born a thousand miles from 'er."
"Yeah, right," said Bruces, "It's much easier
to stop their dreamboat if they never meet."
Then Rex, who was an expert in his art,
said "Hold on mates; youse leave too much to chance.
Big distance never broke a grand romance;
We need 'em born two 'undred years apart."
    A bloke wrote sonnets to an unknown bride.
    A sheila read old poetry and sighed.