January 2003

The Olive Tree

'Twas on creation's seventh day
when God was tired and had to play,
that She devised a jape so cruel
that even Satan had to drool.

Said Satan, "That's the lowest prank
You've made so far, and yet they'll thank
You for it, 'cause they think the light
Shines down from Your throne infinite."

And God said "It's their own damned fault.
I set fair rules but they revolt.
I've given them so much good stuff
Yet still they whine it's not enough.

I've planted only one sad shoot

Limericks about Famous People

Concerning Steve Irwin's close encounters with Antarctic wildlife:

The Croc-Jock keeps telling tall tales
'cause a ban would be bad for his sales.
My snooping reveals
what he's called by the seals:
Starf Arfwin or Dances With Whales.

Concerning Saddam Hussein's handgun in George W. Bush's trophy room:

In a trophy room interns should dread
George W gleefully said,
"This proves that I've won
'cause I got Saddam's gun.
Still, I'd rather have mounted his head."

The Power

At 19 Bradley's life was dull. He was "BroodWatch" when he chatted to his friends, if "friends" was a term you could apply to a collection of college outcasts convinced they were vampires, werewolves or faeries. He could easily believe that none of them ever exposed themselves to sunshine. The blue glow of a monitor was light enough for their spectral existences.